Broken: Naruto's Reasons
by Anime ADHD
Summary: “It’s not so much the dreaming big that hurts. It’s the pain you get when you realize... when you realize it’s time to wake up.” The reason he’s so bent on becoming hokage. . .


**Broken: Naruto's Reasons**

"_It's not so much the dreaming big that hurts. It's the pain you get when you realize... when you realize it's time to wake up." The reason he's so bent on becoming hokage._

This is the first ever angst story I've ever written. My others are usually filled with shits and giggles. This one came to me in a day dream, and before I knew it, I had the whole story planned out in my head. I'm thirteen, and this my second ever Naruto story. Enjoy.

The whole story is **mostly **just a flashback . . . (notice MOSTLY?)

* * *

_Flashback: Six Years Ago, Konoha Orphanage._

_A head of wild blonde hair, eyes bluer than the ocean, and whisker marks adorned the face of a young boy, who was currently resting against a tall tree. Small, chubby hands plucked at the grass around him, and a small, barely audible sigh escaped the boys slightly parted lips. _

_Naruto Uzumaki had what he liked to call "The Spring-Time Blues." _

_If he were a normal kid, he probably would've loved the season of Spring. Shouts and squeals of laughter rung through the air. The village of Konoha seemed to be in a permanent state of bliss for everyone . . . everyone except one five year old Uzumaki. _

_Spring was adoption season. Spring was when all his friends would be shipped off to families who loved them, and he'd be left alone again. He wasn't anticipating the looks of disgust he'd receive. He'd again have to hear the disapproving whispers sent his way, when they thought he wouldn't hear. And again, he'd be painfully reminded that nobody wanted him, Naruto Uzumaki, as their son. Nobody wanted him . . . period. _

_Naruto came to this part of the playground, under the shade of the big trees, to wallow in his misery. Fate wasn't going to give him the chance, it seemed._

"_NARUTO-KUUUUUUN!!!" A young girl bellowed, scanning the playground with her odd, yellow colored eyes. _

_After finally spotting him, the pigtailed, blue haired girl skipped over to Naruto, promptly pulling him from his peaceful state of mind. "THERE YOU ARE! I've been looking for you all over, you know, and you were here the whole time? You jerk, you had me worried!"_

"_Sorry Yuna-nee-chan," He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "I came here to think."_

"_Yeah, whatever. Scoot over!" She plopped herself down next to the blonde, and stared strait ahead. "So . . . what were you think about?"_

_Naruto looked down at his hands, which were now situated in his lap. "This and that. Nothing, really." _

_Yuna grinned at the blonde, before nudging him a little with her shoulder. "Don't give me that. With you, 'nothing' is always 'something'."_

_When the blue eyed boy didn't say anything, she just sighed and leaned further into the tree. "Fine, don't tell me. See if I care," She pouted._

_Naruto smirked, and just as he was about to say something, a sharp blow of a whistle pierced the air, signaling it was time for the orphan children to go inside._

_Frowning, the blonde was about to get up, when Yuna tugged at his shirt sleeve. "Don't. They won't care. I want to stay out here, and talk with you."_

_He sighed again, before nodding his head, and taking up his old spot. _

_Most of the other orphans were probably inside now. But, the one good thing about having no parents was that no one really cared whether you followed the rules or not. _

"_So," Yuna began, turning her eyes up the sky, where stars where beginning to make themselves noticed. "You still haven't told me what you were thinking about." _

_Playfully, Naruto teased, "I thought you didn't care?"_

_Yuna stuck her tongue out at the boy seated beside her. "I don't! I just, um, was trying to start a conversation."_

_He accepted her excuse, knowing it wasn't true. He sighed for the third time that day, before looking down at his hands in his lap. "Adoption season."_

_She turned her head, a puzzled look on her face. "What?"_

"_It's Spring," Naruto began to explain. "Spring is when everyone gets adopted."_

_The look of confusion did not leave her face. "What's wrong with that?"_

"_Nothing . . . I guess. It's just . . . everyone will go away, and just be stuck here again, like always._

"_Who's to say you won't get adopted? So what if you and I never had any luck before, this year could be different!"_

"_Sure," He glanced at her from the side of his eyes. "For you, maybe."_

"_Are you saying you aren't good enough to be adopted, Otooto?" Yuna rarely ever called Naruto little brother, but when she did, it usually meant she was angry or disappointed. "Because you know that's bullshit." This seven year old had a mouth!_

"_I never said any of that. You did."_

_The yellow eyed girl opened her mouth, but then closed it again, unable to say anything. _

_It was time, she decided, to change the subject. "What do you want to be when you grown up, Naruto-kun?"_

_Confuse by the sudden change of subject, he said "What? Where'd that come from all of a sudden?"_

"_I've been thinking about it lately, and I've decided I want to be . . . special." At seeing Naruto's confused face, she decided to expand a bit. "I want to make a difference. I . . . I don't want to be one of millions; I want to be one in a million. When I die, I don't want to be forgotten. I want to be remembered for all time, so many years after I'm gone, I'll be in school children's textbooks, and old men will talk about me in their rocking chairs. 'Remember Yuna?' They'll say. 'She started out as an orphan, but just look at the difference she made. What an inspiration.'" She paused a bit to take a breath, and then continued. "I'm not so sure how I'll do it, yet, but I will. I've got to." _

_She looked over to gauge Naruto's reaction, but she found him staring at the now twinkling stars above. "How can," He hesitated, as if looking for the right words to say. "How can you be so sure you will? If it doesn't happen, won't you . . . won't you be disappointed?"_

_Yuna now too stared at the dark sky. "I guess. But . . . you never know until you try, right? Wouldn't it be far better to try to reach your dream, instead of not even bothering to try?"_

"_But, what if it hurts? What if something goes wrong and it hurts? Big dreams usually lead to big letdowns." Naruto desperately tried to find better words to use, but his five year old mind could only come up with these. _

"_It's not so much the dreaming big that hurts." Yuna uttered a faraway look in her eyes. "It's the pain you'll get when you realize... when you realize it's time to wake up." By now, tears started spilling out of her eyes. _

_Naruto jumped at seeing his 'nee-chan' cry. "What's wrong all of a sudden?"_

"_That saying. That's what . . . That's what my mother always used to say to me, before she . . . before she . . ." Yuna left the word unsaid. Naruto already knew her mother was 'gone.' "And I would always say back, 'I won't, mommy. My life will be a dream, a good one, and I'll make sure I never have to wake up from it.' But then she . . . left, and I started thinking that maybe life was a dream . . . a nightmare. But maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to turn it around. Maybe my dream could have a happy ending after all. Which is why I want so much to be . . . unique. Happy." _

_During her speech, Naruto patiently listened, and then he spoke, with wisdom beyond his years. "Do you really think being unique will make you truly happy?"_

"_Yeah," She wiped at her eyes, and desperately tried to calm her sobbing. "I really do."_

_Naruto nodded. "Then do it. Try your hardest to be the best, and I'm sure you will be." He smiled at her, hoping to get her to smile back. "So stop crying. In the end, you'll be happy. I know so."_

_She threw herself at him in a hug, before saying a 'thank you.' "You never told me what YOU wanted to be, yet?"_

"_I haven't figured it out, yet, but when I do, you'll be the first to know."_

_A few moments passed, before Yuna settled her head against his shoulder. "Naruto-kun?"_

"_Hn?" He uttered, closing his eyes, before once again resting his head against the tree._

"_Do you . . ." She bit her lip, hesitating. "Do you think we're _broken_?"_

_Naruto tensed under her head. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"_

"_It's hard to explain. We're . . . broken. I look at normal kids, with parents, and they look so happy, so . . . complete. But with us, it feels like . . . there are parts missing. It's like I have a hole in my heart, and I know you feel the same. Wouldn't that make us broken?"_

_Naruto closed his eyes, and slumped a little in his spot. "Maybe. We may be broken, but at least we're not shattered."_

_Now it was Yuna's turn to look confused. "Huh?_

"_Don't you know?" Naruto grinned at Yuna. "Broken things can be fixed. Once something is shattered, it's gone forever, but broken things are still able to be repaired. You and me, we're fixable."_

"_But, even so, as of now, we're broken," Yuna continues on sadly. "We may be fixable, but right now, we're broken. Is that why we aren't getting adopted? Because we're broken? After all," She clenched onto the grass, and pulled some out. "After all, no one wants damaged goods." Throughout the speech, Yuna valiantly tried to hold in her tears, but the dam finally broke, and the seven year old girl broke out in sobs. "I don't want to be broken, anymore, Naruto-kun! Not any more!"_

_Yuna's sobbing was muffled by Naruto's shirt, as he embraced the older girl in a comforting hug. "Don't worry, Yuna-chan, its okay. Its okay, it's okay."_

_For what seemed like forever, Naruto continues to whisper reassuring nothings into the ear of the girl he considered a sister, and eventually, she calmed down, her sobs coming to nothing more than sniffles._

"_How do you know?"_

_Naruto winced at the sound of Yuna's voice. Her throat must've been sore from sobbing. Confused by her question, he asked what she meant._

"_You said everything would be okay," Yuna pulled away from her younger brother figure, and used her sleeve to wipe away the tears that she shed. "How can you be so sure?"_

_Naruto leaned back a little, and scratched the back of his neck. This was his unintentional way of showing he was lost in thought. After a couple moments of staring into nothing, Naruto sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly? I can't be sure. But . . . Like you were kind of saying before, isn't it better to think positive?" Naruto patted Yuna on the shoulder, before adopting a playful grin. " Besides, Yuna-nee-chan, I know you. You're so stubborn, you won't quit until everything IS okay. Stubborn girl."_

_Yuna's voice was hoarse, but her laugh still sounded genuine. "So true, Naruto-kun. I am stubborn, aren't I?" She leaned into her "little brother's" chest again, wrapping her thin arms around his slightly smaller frame. "You, too," She whispered into Naruto's chest._

"_Hn? Did you say something?" The blond tried leaning back to hear the girl better, but she held tight. _

_Looking up, so that her face was no longer muffled by his shirt, she said, this time in a stronger voice than before, "You, too. I mean, I want you to be stubborn, like me."_

_Naruto's eyes squinted in confusion. "Why do I have to be stubborn like you, nee-chan?"_

"_Because, I said so, baka!" She had to stifle a giggle when she saw that she had pissed off the smaller blonde. "Just kidding. Really, I do want you to be stubborn, though." Naruto sent her a look that clearly said 'go on', so she continued. "Sometimes, I watch you, Naruto-kun. Sometimes, you just let . . . you just let people walk all over you." After pausing for a bit to find the right words, she nodded her head, and continued on again. "It makes me sad to see you sad. Maybe, if you were more, more . . . what was that word we learned last week? Assertive! Maybe if you were more assertive, you wouldn't get pushed around so much. And, if you're stubborn, then you won't ever give up. I'm sorry for breaking down on you like before, but now I realize that I won't ever break down again. Because, like you said, I'm stubborn. And I'm going to fulfill my dreams, and because of my stubborn-ness, I won't quit, no matter how hard it may be. I'd like very much, Naruto-kun, if you never quit, either. I want you to find a dream, and hold onto it, little brother, because then we, both us, we'll both be happy. Really happy. Wouldn't you like that?"_

_Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but Yuna wasn't quite finished yet, so she put her finger to his mouth to silence him. "Don't let anyone in the way of your happiness, Naruto-kun, not ever. Not matter what people may so, no matter what kind of things they do, don't you EVER let them get in the way of your happiness. Our happiness. I won't be happy unless you are, okay?"_

_Naruto again opened his mouth, and this time, Yuna did not stop him. "Sure thing, Yuna-chan!" His sentence may have been short, but it was every bit sincere. He decided, than and there, that he would be happy, one day. Him, and his big sister._

_Yuna smiled, the happiest smile all night, all week, even. "Thank you, Otooto. Thank you!"_

_After a few minutes of silence, not the awkward kind, the kind that showed two people who were completely comfortable with each other, Naruto spoke again. He stared intently at his now twiddling thumbs, and a blush adorned his little boy face. "I, uh, I thought about what you said earlier. . ."_

"_I said a lot of things earlier, Naruto-kun." Yuna was interested in what exactly was making her little brother figure blush. _

"_About, you know, about what you wanted to be when you grew up. I, um, I think I know."_

_Yuna's face lit up and she squealed at Naruto. "What, really?!? Well, boy, spit it out. Wait, why didn't you tell me earlier?"_

"_Well, actually," he looked up at the sky, like earlier. "I wasn't exactly sure, earlier. But, we both said some things, and I feel a bit better, now. And, right now, I'm pretty sure I know what I want to be, now."_

"_Oh, that makes sense," Yuna nodded her head, and put her fist under her chin. "We both got a lot off our chest, so guess it would be easier to talk now. Well, hurry up! The suspense is killing me!" _

_Naruto started his tale. "It all started when we had a free day here, and I went for a walk. I walked past some sort of training grounds. I didn't really know what they were for, and I was curious, so I went a little closer. When I got there, I was amazed!" Naruto threw his hands up, as if he had saw Kami himself in those training grounds. "There were these guys, right, and they were fighting. At first, I was a little bit scared, but eventually I noticed that their fighting was pretty much relaxed, like, um, like how I'm relaxed around you! So, I figured they were friends. When they were done, I asked then why they had been fighting. They laughed at first, but then the explained that they were ninjas, and they were SUPPOSED to fight. I asked them what ninjas were, and they explained everything to me. It all sounded so cool. But, that wasn't the only reason. When they were fighting, the looked so . . . graceful, so . . . real. Everything felt like slow motion, when I was watching them, and halfway through their fight, I was picturing myself doing those same exact things." He took a deep breath, after his monologue, and turned toward Yuna, excitement dancing in his eyes. "Do you think I'd make a good ninja, Yuna-nee-chan?" _

_Yuna hadn't remember ever seeing Naruto look so excited about anything before. "No."_

_Instantly, Naruto's smile dropped. He looked up at her in disbelief, and in his eyes, doubt was taking place of his earlier excitement. ". . . No?"_

"_Uh-uh." Yuna shook her head, before pulling Naruto into a hug. "Better."_

_Again his emotions changed. This time, it was all confusion. "Better? What do you mean?"_

_Yuna giggled at the fox-like boy by her. She truly believed, with all her heart, that he could pull off what she had in mind. "Little brother," she began, "Have you ever heard of the hokage?"_

_And just like that, Naruto's dreams changed. His fate was decided.

* * *

_

**Seven Years Later**

A thirteen year old blonde with whiskered cheeks and an orange jumpsuit leaned against a familiar bridge. He woke up a little earlier than usual, and the effect was that he got to where he was supposed to meet his team, Team 7, a little earlier than usual.

In the company of others, Naruto was loud and obnoxious, but in his free time, when he was by himself, he took the time to reflect.

His hair covered a portion of his face as he looked down at the clear water below him.

Seven years ago. That was when he discovered his dream. His "big sister" had a big part in that. He doubted any one would believe him if he told them that seven years ago, he hadn't even known what a hokage was.

Naruto remembered Yuna explaining everything about being a hokage. "You'd have to be willing to live for Konoha." She said. And then, she corrected herself. "No, scratch that. You'd have to be willing to _die _for Konoha."

Yuna had explained it in such a way, so heartfelt, that even Naruto could understand everything she was saying . . . and he was only five!

Naruto remembered every last detail about his "big sister" . . . including the day she left.

The day Yuna was finally adopted.

At first, Naruto convinced himself he'd be miserable without his sister figure in his life. He cried, and wept, and sobbed, and screamed, and did everything and anything else he could think of to make her stay. But, when he saw Yuna, standing there staring up at the people who adopted her, he couldn't be sad anymore. He was sure that was the happiest he had ever seen her.

Her smile was from ear to ear; her eyes were brimming with happy tears. Every fiber of her being was radiating joy.

How could Naruto, who loved his big sister so much, still be sad, after seeing his big sister so happy? So, he had decided to himself that day, he would be happy for her. He truly was.

Naruto kicked the stone by his foot into the water, and watched the waves ripple. In that second, he could have swore he saw her reflection, gazing back at him.

With a smile that wasn't completely happy, nor completely sad, he remembered the things she had said to him right after the told him she would be leaving Konoha.

"_Little brother, please don't cry. You know I love you, I always will. Now, Naruto-kun, there is one thing I want you to promise me. Will you promise? . . . Good. After you get out of this orphanage, come find me. Wait, Naruto-kun, let me finish. Come find me . . . after you dream is completed. When you complete your dream, you will be extremely happy, like I am. So, you want to be hokage, right? Well, don't bother to come find me until you fulfill that goal. Now, don't give me that look. I know you can do it. When you come find me, we'll both have completed our dreams. I can't wait, Naruto-kun. I'll be making a difference, and you will be, too! When you come find me, you can tell me about all your adventures, and your friends, and what it's like to be hokage, okay?" _

So, even though he had eventually found out where it was she'd gone, he didn't go look for her, yet. He needed to fulfill his dreams first, like she was doing now.

That's right, she was making a difference. The first time he'd heard about her was from travelers from far away. "Have you heard about Yuna?" They said. "She's really making a difference . . . what an inspiration."

He went home in a daze, that day. And when everything had finally sunken in, he'd laughed and cried all in one.

Naruto looked at his watch, and realized his team would be coming soon.

His team . . . They were his family now. Sakura, his first crush, Sasuke, his brother, Kakashi, an uncle, Iruka, a father, Jiraiya, a crazy uncle, Tsunade, a mother. He had a whole family . . . the only missing was a sister.

And so, standing on the bridge, waiting for his team to arrive, Naruto made a silent vow. The same kind of vow he'd say to himself everyday.

He'd eventually have a whole family.

Eventually, he'd be hokage. And he'd let no one, he'd let nothing, stand in his way. His first, but definitely not last, promise of a lifetime.

* * *

Okay, so, um . . . what do you think? Like I said before, this story had some angsty parts. Angst isn't really my thing. 

Please review, and tell me what you think. If you need to flame, go right ahead, but please give me advice on how I could better improve my writing. Nothing shows you care more than some advice, right?

Thanks for taking the time to read my story…

-Anime ADHD 3


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